


How was I born

by greenteams



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Fluff and Crack, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Parent John Watson, Parent Sherlock Holmes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 14:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20359924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenteams/pseuds/greenteams
Summary: The Bewilderment of Hamish Watson-Holmes.





	How was I born

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy this little crack and tell me if you like it!

How was I born

“Daddy?”

John walked home back from the daycare center to Baker Street with Hamish hand in hand. Just arrived in front of the house door, the little guy, seeming caught by some sudden threads of thought, put up his little chubby face and called him.

“What is it, Honey?” John regarded his son, beaming.

“How was I born?” Hamish asked with all the seriousness.

_Ah, so the big question comes when it comes,_ John said to himself, _maybe one or two years earlier than he’d expected._

“Let’s go inside the house first, alright?” John reached for the keys to open the door of 221.

“Oh, good afternoon, John! And you too, Hamish little sweetheart!” Mrs. Hudson had just come out from her kitchen and came to meet them in the staircase, “How was your day?” She bent a bit to greet the little boy.

“It was very good, thank you, Mrs. Hudson!” Hamish answered politely. He came to stand on his tiptoe to kiss the old lady on both cheeks, and added, “I was just asking Daddy how I was born.”

“That is a great question!” Mrs. Hudson encouraged cheerily, while making meaningful winks at John, “John, why don’t you tell him, you know, _THAT_ story?”

John covered his eyes with one lifted hand. He blushed a bit.

“Tell me story, Daddy!” Hamish pleaded earnestly and waggled John’s other arm back and forth.

“I’ll leave you two with your story-telling,” the landlady threw another wink to John and returned to her own room.

“Okay,” John led Hamish climbing upstairs, he took in a breath and cleared his throat and started:

“Once upon a time, there were two identical—”

“Wahlahlah—” Hamish protested, “I know this isn’t true! Daddy is telling me the made-up story, so I’d like Papa to do it for me.”

They have just reached the door of the living room on the second floor. The said Papa was lying on the sofa in the shape of a lanky human being and was absolutely motionless. It was on hearing John and Hamish entering the door that he breathed in abruptly and largely like he’d emerged from the surface of water. He blinked successively and apparently had just solved some nice juicy locked room mystery.

“Papa!” Hamish squealed happily and ran towards him. The lying detective sat up and gathered him into his arms, “My little bee.”

“Papa Papa, Daddy was telling me the wrong story, I want Papa to tell me.”

Sherlock looked at John in total bafflement.

“_YOUR_ son,” John deliberately punctuated every letter, “would very much like to know—” he sounded like he was trying really hard to hold back a major laughter, “—the story of how he was born.” The expression on his face was hard not to be called gloating.

“Oh,” Sherlock said in realization, “OK. Sure.”

Hamish settled himself cozily on his laps.

Sherlock began in a fascinating tone:

“Long time ago, there were two identical—”

“No…” Hamish whined in dismay, “I’ve heard that story, that’s what Laura’s parents have told her. Once there were two identical seeds, her mum swallowed one and her dad took the other. Her dad’s did not sprout but her mum’s did, and the sprout grew bigger and bigger in her mum’s belly and finally turned into Laura herself. Not only Laura, there’re also Dannie, Peter, Alex…Their parents all have swallowed seeds to give birth to them. But I know that’s not true. I want Papa to tell me the real story.”

Sherlock’s lips perked at the corner, revealing an approbatory smile. He kissed the boy on the top of his head and said softly:

“Of course their story is not true. I promise, Hamish, that the story I’m going to tell you is certainly different from theirs, and one hundred percent authentic.”

“Hooray!” The little boy resumed his jolly spirit and sat with his palms holding his jaw.

In order to prevent himself from burst out laughing, John retreated silently to the kitchen to make tea.

Sherlock restarted in a serious manner and a fascinating tone:

“Long time ago, there were two identical pills. One was highly poisonous; people die immediately after taking it. The other one looked exactly the same, but it was poison less, there was no harm whatsoever even if one took it. There was this big bad guy, who played a vicious game against other people with these two pills. He forced them to choose one pill to swallow, and many people died because of it. Papa wanted to catch this bad guy, so I also went to play the game. But Papa nearly fell into his trap… At that time, Papa was not as smart as now—already quite smart indeed, obviously, not as smart as now though… Papa was this close to take one of those pills. If that was the poisonous one, then Papa would have died…”

Hamish got so nervous that he grabbed tightly onto his Papa’s dressing gown and dared not to make any sound.

“That was when your Daddy showed up. He pulled out his—”

John faked coughing very loudly to cover the noise of the boiling kettle.

“—His big strong fist, and beat the bad guy so hard and drove him away.”

Hamish let out a long-held breath.

“Your Daddy had saved my life, and I was so moved by it. I invited him to late night dim-sum at the dining room—the one where Daddy often took you to have shrimp dumplings—we walked home from there and talked and giggled all the way long. The night was so beautiful and the air so romantic. We had such a great time. And then we came back home, went upstairs, and it was on this exact sofa, actually, that your Daddy pushed me into the cushions and fucked me to ecstasy and oblivion.”

Hamish’s mouth opened to a big O in surprise.

“That’s the story how _you_ came into the picture.” Sherlock concluded in a satisfactory way.

Moments have passed and Hamish, still in shock, turned his head to the kitchen to seek help from his Daddy.

The ex-army doctor took a sip of tea innocently and shrugged: “There, like I just said.”

-END-


End file.
